Valentine's Tarot Reading

Tarot-Inspired Valentine's Exercise

Dear Reader,

Happy Lunar New Year and Year of the Dragon!

Today’s post is a meditative exercise on Valentine’s Day, brought to you by the tarot card Ace of Cups! I hope you enjoy this exercise, which you can return to and revise over time. The answer to the question at the core of this exercise might not be the same in every phase of your life, so you might want to bookmark this meditation if it speaks to you.

I don’t know about you, but I loved the Valentine’s Day celebrations at one of my elementary schools. Everyone brought Valentine's cards for everyone else and placed them, along with the occasional heart-shaped candies and Jolly Ranchers, in a ‘mailbox’ we made for ourselves. This mailbox was simply two paper plates stapled together and decorated with our names and as many hearts as we could fit on them. I read and believed in the messages of every one of those cards. Some of them may have been the same generic messages for every student in the class, but if they were I didn’t know it at the time. To me, they were personal notes.

Now that I think about it, those Valentine’s Day cards starting in the 3rd grade may have been my first version of receiving a tarot card reading. Maybe that’s another reason why I like the cards so much, and especially readings about relationships! Anyway, those childhood versions of Valentine’s Day weren’t about romance at all. That meant we could express love for everyone without exception, in a non-romantic and universal way. There was nothing exclusive or excluding about it. There was something kind of Aquarian about the way we celebrated this holiday at school.

It is in that spirit that I think of the true expression of this day. Valentine’s Day can reawaken that childlike tendency to find what is loveable about everyone, and to be loving or at least tolerant towards others. No matter how much they might annoy us at times. Of course, annoyance, like love, is also universal! This holiday doesn’t have to be connected to partnership, and how loving would it be to exclude those who choose not to be in one? Going back to astrology again, and considering all the planets that recently moved into Aquarius, this can be a time to explore and appreciate platonic love and a love of community.

Friendship, for instance, is a huge gift in this existence. Healthy friendships can offer a particularly special and meaningful emotional connection that carries us through the many phases of our lives, long after other relationships may come and go. No matter who you care about most, part of the spirit of this day is to remember that love is a choice. It’s one of those few things in life we can control, along with how we treat others and ourselves.

To be loved and by whom isn’t something we can control, but on any day of any week, we can choose to love someone else. That love might be directed to a person, a pet, or even a concept. The feelings most people seek to receive are in them all along to give.

There is a saying (the origin of which I do not know) that family knows how to press our buttons because they are the ones who installed them. No matter how often someone close to us may “press our buttons”, it is always an option to choose compassion. Easier said than done, isn’t it? Yet we can always set an intention. Being the first one to bring the love to any situation is always an option. And isn’t that the essence of the Ace of Cups? The card alludes to the beginning of a positive emotion, and you can be the one to set that in motion.

Happy Valentine’s Day,

Kyra

Imagery

Aside from the landscape, 5 components form the image in the Ace of Cups: a cup held by a hand emerging from a cloud, water streaming from the cup into a body of water, and a dove dropping a wafer into the cup. The cup from above is overflowing with water as if from a fountain, which appears to feed the body of water below.

Interpretation

Cups relate to water signs and emotions, and an Ace can be something new or novel. This card may refer to the awakening of a feeling, a fresh creative idea, or a new relationship. It can also represent a newly developing aspect of an already existing relationship.

Another interpretation is the development of a new creative idea or awakening of intuition that seems to be divinely inspired. Despite the Water Sign (Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces) implications of this card, there is an Aquarian facet in its allusions to inspiration and insight.

Overall, an overflowing cup of emotions denotes an abundance of feelings, particularly joyfulness. The hand seems to bring the cup to the onlooker, which in this case is you as you look at the card. You are being handed an offering of lasting contentedness when you get this card. Perhaps you can even recall or reproduce a feeling of contentment as you meditate on the card. Or maybe it will connect you with a different positive feeling. The dove from above suggests that this joy will be coming from a peaceful or spiritual place.

If you have felt held back, where romantically, emotionally, or in terms of attaining inner peace, the Ace of Cups signifies a time when you will be free to enjoy the good feelings of life. As in the cloud in the card, you can be ‘on cloud 9’ about this time. As Abraham Lincoln said, “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be”. How much of happiness is a choice? True, there are some situations where that will be more challenging. There is genuine inequity in the world.

Yet within the limitations of your present circumstances, sometimes it is the miracle of being alive itself that brings us back to a feeling of joy. According to this card, joy is there for the taking. If you don’t feel it now, it might be on the way just around the corner. Are you ready to receive the gifts that the cup is bringing your way?

More specifically, this card could mean that good news on the horizon will give you an emotional boost, whether that is in your career, material life, inner journeys, or a relationship. You’ve probably noticed that when you feel gratitude for those good feelings in just one area, positive emotions will tend to spill over into other areas and brighten more than one part of your life—just like the Ace of Cups seems to supply enough water to fill an entire ocean.

Ace of Cups Relationship Exercise

In psychologist Erich Fromm’s Art of Loving, he frames the act of love as an art form. From this perspective, the object is not to fall in love (as the falling isn’t lasting) but to “stand in love”, an act of art that requires presence, respect, “maturity, self-knowledge, and courage” throughout a relationship. He also writes about five forms of love: brotherly, motherly, erotic, self-love, and the love of a ‘God’ (or, for some, their concept of a higher power or Creator). Of course, there are other forms of love, but the main point I want to emphasise about his work for the purpose of this post is the importance of play.

Fromm’s theory includes the notion that play is important not only for children (he was also a child psychoanalyst) but also for adults. To help you find the qualities you want to integrate into your life that are congruent with what you value, respect, and admire, I developed the following exercise based on the Ace of Cups. I’ve used this with clients in hypnotherapy, but you can also try it as a meditation or self-hypnosis exercide. Keep in mind that it is intended to be in the spirit of playfulness, so there is no right or wrong way to do this. According to Fromm, playing and being social is an effective way to learn, and to discover what we want (or want to appreciate) in various relationships.

Part I: Character Study

Who are your four favourite characters from TV or film right now? More specifically, which ones are you most attracted to. If you had the choice, who would most want to spread your time with in those worlds…or if you could bring them outside of their narratives and into your own life? What are the qualities that compel you to keep thinking about those characters? For this exercise, the object is not to choose any of these characters based on their appearance. This has nothing to do with the actors who portray them as artists. It’s about connecting with what you want more of through the arts (or even literature if you want to call in a character from a novel). The exercise works best if you choose characters who align with your values and the qualities you are drawn to, respect, and appreciate.

For instance, do any of the characters you chose share a sense of humour with you, or make you laugh? Is there one who shares what is most important to you in a relationship, such as honesty, integrity, consistency, or humility? Are you looking to have more people in your life who are loyal or kind-hearted? Again, there is no wrong answer because this is about what works for you.

Let’s go further. Is it important to you that someone is available, or at least listens to you when they are? What about common or differing interests? Does it matter to you that you connect with a partner who likes to travel, or for whom conversations are important? Does it matter to you if someone is creative, challenges you, or makes you think? Does it matter that someone shares your love of animals, music, or a particular spiritual practise? These are just ideas to spark your choice of characters and it might be that none or some of them apply. Since this exercise can be revised at any time, it’s not a big deal to settle on some characters now and ‘recast’ some or all of them later!

If you’re stuck and still looking for that third or fourth character to meditate on what you want more of, think about which characters you would like to have as friends (not the show Friends, your friends! Not that you can’t choose someone from that show!)

The idea is not that you find someone who has all the qualities or values of these characters. This exercise intends to bring you closer to recognising who and what you want more of in your life through the inspiration of imagined beings. In that way, these characters become like stand-ins or even spirit guides who reach out from the card and take your hand like that hand in the Ace of Cups, carrying you on a journey towards new relationships, or renewed perspectives about present connections.

You can write the answers or meditate on them depending on how you like to navigate self-help exercises. It might depend on whether you are feeling more visual or textual impulses right now. Perhaps you will visualise these characters all at once, as if they were in the same room or show and having a conversation with one another. If that feels overwhelming, just imagine two of them interacting at a time. What are they like when they’re together?

When you imagine those four characters or any combination of them you might notice how they compare and contrast with each other. What keeps drawing you back to thinking about them? Why have they been on your mind from time to time even before you read about this exercise? What is it about these characters that compels you to watch these shows or films, or to keep reading books that feature their stories?

There’s a reason and maybe multiple reasons why you keep thinking about them. Perhaps one communicates in a way you like, and maybe another has an ability you admire. There might be a character who touches your heart or makes you think. You might have chosen someone who reminds you of something you like about yourself, or perhaps even something you aspire to be. Maybe you just simply love them, and that’s enough.

Part II: Discovering and Embodying Inspiring Character(s)

When you write down, visualise, or think of the traits you love in those characters, you can make a note of their traits in your mind or on paper as one list. If you do the exercise again at another time, you will be able to compare what has changed in what you seek.

This list can give you an idea of what you’re looking for in a partner. It is a little like the concept of writing your ‘dealbreakers’ and ‘must haves’ when looking for a partner, although this exercise is more nuanced and flexible than that. You are sketching a more general idea of what you like, but more as a creative point of inspiration than a rigid boundary.

The purpose of this exercise isn’t to find someone who is an exact combination of these four characters, but rather to give you an imaginative journey into discovering some of the traits you’re seeking at this point in your life—not only in others, but also in yourself. You’re gathering ideas, whether by rewatching those shows or films (or perhaps just clips), recalling the characters by memory, or rereading books that feature characters you like and would enjoy being around. These narratives are available as inspiration for bringing you closer to the life you want, or appreciating those who are already there.

The reason for the four characters of this exercise is that there are four basic images in the Ace of Cups: a dove, a wafer, a hand, and a cup holding water. Since the Suit of Cups already represents water, I am counting the cup and water as one element.

There is also a fifth image of the cloud, which could signify an unseen force working behind the scenes to guide you to the people who are meant to be in your life or who will be the healthiest and happiest for you. That is a more amorphous concept that drives the mysterious, spiritual aspect of what brings people into your life, so I haven’t represented that divine force as a character in this exercise.

Another reason for working with this imagined cast of characters is that you might not see everything you need or want in one character, so studying more than one will give you a more comprehensive rendering of what you seek. Then you will be able to identify that person more clearly and unquestioningly when they do one day come your way…or someone who maybe reminds you of them in some way.

If you’re already in a relationship, this exercise can give you insight into qualities you might want to bring into your life. That may be about awakening qualities that are already latent in you. You might have chosen characters who represent a part of you that you want to connect with more or an ability or interest you’d like to develop. Perhaps you’re ready to share those qualities with the world. That is part of the beginning implied in the Ace of Cups; the card isn’t always about a new relationship. Sometimes it asks you if you are interested in a new way of relating to yourself or reaching out to the world. On a cognitive level, this might suggest adopting a new perspective about something in your life that is related to relationships.

You can also use those characters as inspiration when you are seeking new (Ace) friendships, work partnerships, or other relationships (Cups). Alternatively, perhaps the four characters that emerge from this Ace of Cups exercise are a clue about what hobbies, recreational activities, spiritual callings, or higher purpose you’re ready to discover or reawaken, whether for yourself or as a shared experience with someone else.

It’s also possible to take this further by embodying some of the qualities in one or more of these characters yourself. This advanced version of the exercise integrates the qualities of those characters into your behaviour, embracing the adage, “Be the person you want to date”. If you’re not finding the people you want to connect with in your life, you have the option to become something closer to that kind of person. By becoming what you seek, that’s what you’re more likely to recognise in others and attract.

This Ace of Cups exercise is one of many relationship exercises that can be used during hypnotherapy. I plan to share a Two of Cups exercise with you in another post.

A Note on Self-Hypnosis

If you are trained in how to self-hypnotise, you can try using this tarot-inspired exercise during self-hypnosis. Some of the best times for self-hypnosis are before you go to sleep or after you wake up. This is a time when you might be more open to suggestion. Perhaps that is why so many people throughout the ages have chosen the morning and night for practising prayer and meditation.

Overall, the emotional essence of this card can be diluted to that saying from that 1955 song by Jill Jackson Miller and Sy Miller and recorded by Vince Gill, ‘Let There Be Peace on Earth’: “Let it begin with me”. When good feelings start with you, you’ll tend to inspire others to do the same…at least those who are ready and willing to reawaken that love within themselves and share it with other fellows as you did with them.

At the same time, the image in the Ace of Cups shows a dove from above bringing a gift to the cup, which subsequently overflows with abundance. This is a possible nod to emotional renewal as supplied from a higher source. Are the seeds of love sown from above, or does it begin with you?

Works Cited

Fromm, Erich. Art of Loving. New York, New York: Open Road Integrated Media, 1956.

Disclaimer: Psychic readings are for entertainment purposes only and are not performed by a licenced medical practitioner. Please consult with your medical doctors regarding all health concerns. Please consult with your financial advisor regarding all financial decisions. Comments are public and may be searchable on websites and search engines. Any consultation you receive is subject to your interpretation and you agree to take full responsibility for your interpretation, decisions, and actions.