Life and Afterlife Coaching: Holiday Recipe for Trifles

Life and Afterlife Coaching: Holiday Recipe for Trifles

On our most recent episode of Zodiac Divas with Butch Patrick, "I Finally Got Him... Yawn", we talked about how to keep the spark alive in a long-term relationship. Is it human nature that once we have someone, we start to look elsewhere for attention? Or does it depend on the individual, their emotional maturity and their basic disposition?

Perhaps some people are more inclined to get bored with repetition than others, but it is easy for any of us to take something for granted the longer that we have it. You can work on appreciating what you already have by making holiday gratitude lists, as well as using active listening to be in the moment with those who are in your life. If your relationship seems like it is in jeopardy, there is also hypnosis available for rediscovering the feelings you once had. Since it’s the holidays and time for lots of baking, here’s a quick recipe to bring the intimacy back into your relationship, and to get things cooking again:

RECIPE FOR TRIFLES

1) Practise appreciation on a daily basis. When people feel invisible, they look elsewhere for attention. Men often have affairs because they feel unappreciated, women because they feel invisible.

2) Talk to each other about what's going on in your life right now without bringing up the past, and listen to one another. 

3) Let your questions be real requests for information. Refrain from using questions to criticise or shame your partner.

4) Reframe what is given to you so they know you heard them, such as saying “So what you’re saying is...” Even if their request is unreasonable, acknowledge their need. If you are not sure how to respond, give yourself some time so that you will avoid saying something you may later regret. “Let me think about that and get back to you."

5) Try incorporating the phrase “You may be right about that” once in a while. Would you rather be right, or be happy?

6) Be genuinely respectful of the wonderful human being that you have the opportunity to spend time with. Find what you admire most about them and call that to mind from time to time, from season to season, and eventually, throughout the entire year.

Mix it all up, and let it get hot. Serves 2.

Source: Kyra Oser Blog Feed