Exclusive Florence Henderson Interview on Improving Your Love Life With Relationship Hypnosis
Actress and Hypnotherapist Florence Henderson joined us tonight on CBS Radio's Zodiac Divas to discuss relationship hypnosis and how it can help you to have a more fulfilling love life. Her late husband and founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, Dr. John Kappas, developed some comprehensive theories on relationships that can be used in conjunction with hypnosis for improving all of our romantic lives. The theory is brilliantly covered in his book Relationship Strategies: The E & P Attraction. According to Dr. Kappas, Florence says that there are two types of people: Emotionals and Physicals, and that we form our category based on how physically affectionate and involved our secondary caretaker (usually the father) was when we were about 13-15 years old. We also often take after our secondary caretaker’s category. A wonderful aspect of this theory is that it doesn’t divide types according to gender, just to learned behaviours. There are men and women who fit into each category, and this theory applies just as much to homosexual and transgendered couples as it does to heterosexual partners.
Once you've figured out which category best describes you, you can use relationship hypnosis to become more balanced in your romantic life. For example, if you are frequently asking your partner how they feel about you and constantly need to be reassured, you might be a type that Florence (and the late Dr. Kappas) would refer to as a "Physical". Under hypnosis, you can be programmed to be more of an "Emotional": detached at times and giving your partner more of the space he or she seeks. This could improve your relationship, as many issues can stem from one partner feeling smothered and the other, neglected.
As a further example of these types, an Emotional might be more shy, dress demurely, and not be interested in getting attention. Emotionals are protective of their physical bodies. Physicals tend to be acutely aware of their kinesthetic feelings and need to physically touch others in order to feel that they are accepted. A Physical might be a flashy dresser, bawdy, extroverted, and very social. They are the “life of the party”, whereas the Emotional is content to be more of a “wallflower”. Physicals may hang out at bars and many people who go to AA meetings are Physicals. Emotionals can be found at a library or work function, or at home preparing for the next day’s work. Physicals and Emotionals are very attracted to one another, and the higher percentage of a Physical that you are, the higher percentage of an Emotional you will be attracted to. According to Dr. Kappas, we tend to seek out in others what we feel we are missing in ourselves. If a Physical walks into a party and is making jokes and friends with everyone, the Emotional in the corner will admire her for being so confident. The Physical will then see the Emotional hidden away in a corner, and think, “I wish I could be as confident as him so that I didn’t feel like I have to always win other people’s approval.” Thus begins a romance.
No one is 100% one category or another, but through a series of questions administered by a Hypnotherapist such as Florence, it is possible to deduce what you predominantly are: for example, you could be 75% Physical and 25% Emotional. The sexual cycles of Physicals and Emotionals also tend to vary, causing issues after the Honeymoon stage in the relationship has subsided. Emotionals tend to have a three day cycle, whereas a high Physical wants it every day. If the Physical is too demanding of the Emotional’s attention, this will tend to drive the Emotional away. The Physical is usually the one to be abandoned and to have his or her heart broken when a relationship ends. A high percentage Physical who has been particularly hurt by rejection could possibly resort to Facebook stalking. Some Physicals will date another Physical after being dumped by an Emotional in order to avoid another rejection, but there won't be much chemistry in a Physical/Physical relationship. And Emotional/Emotionals don't usually tend to get together because nobody's making the first move.
Physicals equate sex with love, and therefore tend to be more discriminating about which partners they choose. This is sometimes the case with people who regularly enjoy content from websites such as www.tubev.sex, as they find it hard to have true emotional relationships. Emotionals can detach from sex and don’t have to fall in love in order to have sexual relationships. Once an Emotional wants to break up with a Physical, they have already replaced their partner with someone else. Emotionals are more likely to cheat when there are problems in a relationship. If you are a Physical and you find yourself single again and again, try emphasizing your Emotional subdominance by dressing conservatively and going to a bar. Then watch the Physicals flock to you and take your pick.
Even if you emphasize your subdominance, you will likely still very likely be attracted to your opposite. It’s important to understand that life priorities tend to differ between these two categories, and this is where many relationship problems begin.
Physical Priorities: 1) relationships and sex 2) children and family 3) hobbies 4) work Emotional Priorities: 1) work 2) hobbies 3) family 4) sex In the beginning of a courtship, both the Physicals and Emotionals will focus on the relationship. As soon as the Physical says “I love you” to the Emotional, the Emotional assumes that the relationship is secure and goes back to immersing themselves in their top priorities: work and hobbies. The Physical sees the change in their loved one's behaviour and panics, trying harder to get the Emotional’s time and attention. The Emotional, now busy with work, starts to feel suffocated by the Physical and withdraws. The Emotional feels guilty about breaking up and doesn’t want to be responsible for making that decision, so they will neglect the relationship and even cancel plans until the Physical threatens to break up, hoping that this will bring the Emotional back. The Emotional might say something to the effect of “Okay, if that’s what you want”. Even if a Physical ends the relationship, it is usually because the Emotional has created an atmosphere in which the connection has diminished. There are ways to save relationships between Emotionals and Physicals that have begun to break down like this. A Hypnotherapist might ask each partner to emphasize their subdominance; in other words, if you are a Physical, give the Emotional some space, time and trust. It is helpful to guide the Physical not to expect to hear from their partner that they care. The Physical hopes to hear “I love you” frequently. The Emotional says it once and assumes the Physical knows that their feelings haven’t changed unless stated otherwise. Once the relationship has entered a state of crisis, it’s also possible to teach the Emotional that there are ways of communicating their caring to their physical partner. One effective way is if the Emotional can give the Physical a greeting card that says “I love you”, because then the Physical can keep opening it and be reminded while the Emotional is busy at work.
The Emotional shows the Physical how to embrace self-acceptance, and the Physical can help the Emotional to get more in touch with their bodies and their feelings. When we're willing to learn from one another’s behaviour, we have a chance to enjoy relationships where unconditional love based on caring and trust can naturally flourish. This is absolutely possible, and one timeless example is the beautiful love affair and marriage between Florence Henderson (a Physical) and Dr. John Kappas (an Emotional).
If you would like to have a hypnotherapy session to help improve your relationships, or to find the relationship you're seeking, I'm available in person in the Los Angeles area and all over the world by Skype.
Dr. John Kappas and Florence Henderson on their wedding day (1987). Dr. Kappas was the founder of Hypnosis Motivation Institute, where Florence learned about his theories of relationship hypnosis.
To listen to tonight's episode of Zodiac Divas on CBS Radio featuring Florence Henderson, please check out the podcast at www.zodiacdivas.com, on iTunes, or on CBS Radio. Thanks for listening, and be sure to call us for your own free psychic reading on Tuesday nights at 8 pm PST/11 pm EST by calling (248) 545-SOUL(7685). We look forward to hearing from you and to helping you in your own love life.